"Damaged Goods." This is how someone described themselves to me today.
I must say I find that hard to believe - or just perhaps that a bit damaged comes with experience and age but doesn't mean one is broken.
I for instance I guess could use that label on myself - but I wouldn't want to. I haven't "won" at love in the conventional sense, but I've won in that I've experienced it, given it, enjoyed it. And with all the ups and downs I wouldn't trade it for the world.
I'm still determined to find that special someone. I still tear up at chic flicks full of only possible in scripted scenes confessions of love. I'm still hopeful.
And most importantly I am happy with me - just me. A partner is a lovely thing to have and share with, and it is something I hope I get to participate in again. But/And I truly believe that one is not truly damaged goods if one can learn from love and life and know that one is a better person for the experience.
I won't give up on love or label myself as someone who might be unlucky in that department - not out of some wide eyed optimism, but out of selfishness...
Because to give up that hope would be to deny a lot of my experience, thus not having truly learned from it and thus not being the person I want to and have worked so hard to be.
So here's to love, life and experiences - all of it - the dark and the light, the good and the bad, the despair and delirium and most importantly - the sweet peaceful calm that comes when we know we have found something truly precious.
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Mark said this speaks of someone who is remarkably undamaged and great wisdom at any age. The rest is just timing.
ReplyDeleteI say you have grown so much this year. It is a beautiful thing. The women at church back at Hope Epiphany in Chicago that I admired the most were the ones who had lived a lot of life, one for example watched her husband kill himself, and came out the other side loving peaceful, caring beings who could laugh and live. These are the ones from whom we learn the most.